Practical Things To Do With A Uni Essay‏ (Celaka betul XD )

I saw this on Rotten Apple's page - sounds really nice to do =D I shall blog about my experience if I eventually do some of these things out of boredom or stress, haha. Copied and pasted from Soo Peng's blog =D There, I stated my source, no plagiarism ^_^

1. Type every word of your essay in a different font. Alternate really big fonts with really small fonts.(it's still easy to see, lol)
2. Support your thesis with quotes from your VCR manual.(It's still a secondary source, right? =D)
3. Write the entire assignment on Post-it notes; hand it in by sticking them all over the professor's door.(Well, I'm sure the professor will love this, especially if all 52 of us do it >3)
4. Write a paper discussing why Michelangelo got to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but Van Gogh didn't. Discuss whether Van Gogh would have used nunchakus or katanas.(no, he used poison darts)
5. Perfume the paper with catnip. Explain that it was to keep your dog from eating it.(cool-.-)
6. If assigned a paper in philosophy class, explain that you can't do the paper because you're not sure if the class really exists, or if it and the professor are just illusions created by your subconscious. If you do end up writing the paper, write about whether or not the paper actually exists.(think whether the professor exists too...)
7. If assigned a 2000-word essay, draw two pictures of what the paper was supposed to be about. After all, a picture is worth 1000 words, right?(Gonna do that for my Moral assignment - 1500 words - one and a half pictures)
8. Cite issues of Spiderman and Batman as resources in your bibliography.(especially why Batman wears his underwear over his head :o)
9. Hand in the essay by making paper airplanes out of the pages of the paper and attempting to fly them onto the professor's desk.(Hey sir, CATCH!)
10. The night before the paper is due, call the professor and explain that you can't turn your paper in because it contains sensitive military information and is only available on a "need to know" basis. Insist that General Schwarzkopf says you should get an 'A'.(-.- who is that? LOL)
11. Write your history paper on parchment, using a quill. Say that you were trying to get the feel for the period.(makes sense)
12. Hand in a letter you wrote to your cousin. When the teacher confronts you about it, say that you must have gotten the letter and the paper mixed up. Say that you'll turn the paper in as soon as you get it back, but your cousin lives in Siberia, so it might take a while. (This is a nifty way to get an extension.)(doesn't work - you will have a soft copy in your disk drive)
13. When writing an especially long paper, put a recipe for chocolate cake in the middle and see if the professor notices.(I might try that when I'm writing a thesis :p)
14. Tell the professor that you need an extension because one of your primary sources is an old wise man in Tibet and he won't see you until the next full moon.(Who?)
15. Paint a large white stripe down the front of your paper. Say that on the way to class, your dropped it in the street and it got run over by one of those trucks that paint lines on the road.(-.-)
16. Make a footprint on the back of one of the pages. When questioned by the professor, act like it's nothing unusual. After all, he did tell you to include footnotes.(YESH!)
17. Bring candles and incense to class. Before handing in the paper, perform an elaborate ceremony, entreating the gods to bless the paper and correct all your typos.(Please, somebody, do that :D)
18. Make a tape of you singing the contents of your paper, opera-style, and hand that in.(Lala-envi~~~ronment!!!)
19. Write your psychology essay on possible genetic anomalies that might cause a person to prefer anchovies.(hmm)
20. TTyyppee eevveerryy lleetttteerr ttwwiiccee..(easy~)
21. Get a large piece of paper or canvas. Smear paint all over it and hand it in as your paper. Explain that the topic was such an emotional one for you, and that mere words couldn't possibly express what you had to say.(Remember to wet the paper before handing in - say that it's your tears)
22. Refuse to do the paper on account of the fact that you are a member of Greenpeace and strongly object to the gratuitous slaughter of trees caused by the massive amount of paper used in writing assignments.(Do you hear that, Mr Moorthy?)
23. Put nonsense words down as quotes. Say that you are quoting the words of a well-known Zen master who was speaking in tongues at the time.(sdafjghowegcansguhwhaadksjusvnud)
24. Use a forklift to bring your paper to class, even if it's only a few pages. Explain that it involved some very heavy reading.(yes, think of how many encyclopedias and dictionaries we have to refer to)
25. Poke several holes in the paper. Say that you were mobbed by crows on the way to class.(*agrees with SP - porcupine la XD)
26. Print all the pages on one sheet of paper, with the text overlapping. Say that that was all the paper you had.(Will do that one day)
27. Make your assignment one long, neverending sentence that goes on for pages and pages and pages; use alot of semi-colons, commas, and other interesting, rarely-used punctuation marks [(for example), an interesting one: the colon_] but never ever end the sentence {[_-\|/??!]}.(LOL don'tputspaceinbetweenisevenbetter)
28. On the day the paper is due, skip into class, waving your essay and screaming, "I have a paper! I have a paper!". Run around the class a few times, then joyfully throw it out the window. Laugh and yell, "There's my paper!", then run outside to get it. Repeat this all through the period, or until the prof throws you out.(planning to do that too :D)
29. Come to class leading a horse or camel. When asked to turn in the paper, take it out of one of the saddlebags, then shoot the horse/camel/whatever away. Refuse to discuss it.(?)
30. Draw obscure connections between totally unrelated things. For example, claim that abnormal amounts of neutrino activity in Germany caused Hitler to invade France, or that the Roman empire collapsed because of a shortage of qualified botanists.(err...)
31. Refer to all prominant historical figures by nicknames. For example, call George Washington "Georgie". Call Ben Franklin "Sparky".(obama my babie XD - sam will love this ^^)
32. Pwetend you have a speech impediment and awways type w's whenevew you weawwy want to type r's ow l's.(D= this is harder than typing normally)
33. Ol, switch alound arr the l's and r's in youl papel, rike Monty Python did in Queen Erizabeth the Thild.(hard too)
34. When your prof asks for an outline of your paper, draw the outline of the piece of paper you typed it on and hand it in.(I Will DO THIS)
35. Spill a martini on your sociology paper. Say that you wrote it in a bar so that you could see "sociology in action".(smells of alcohol :3)