Its has been a long time since I updated my blog again...indeed, I would have forgotten totally about it if HizRyanz did not ask me something along the lines of 'what happened to your blog?' :p
After the Merdeka holidays in August, I was once again loaded with many assignments and miscellaneous stuff to do - the Merchant of Venice play, MPP, and I'm still fighting for the access to the music room or at least, the instruments for my Music Society.
Come to think of it, I am making a great effort for everything mentioned above. And why is that? Is it because I'm gifted with the capacity to love the things I love, and to be willing to sacrifice my time and energy, and sometimes emotions and feelings for the things I care about?
With the capacity for loving, there always exists the possibility to get hurt.
Take the MPP for an example. I respect Mr Tahir, the head of the Students Affair department. So, although I resigned from the previous batch, I finally agreed to take on the job once again as the Cultural and Arts Exco (Kebudayaan dan Kesenian), knowing that I will be loaded with a lot of work, and have to handle a lot of things. Besides, nowadays the tasks seem to come at the eleventh hour, like Malam Tautan Budaya for instance (just 5 days to prepare for a whole night's show), and now I'm supposed to handle a celebration combining Lantern Festival, Aidilfitri and also Deepavali - an evening similar to Malam Tautan Budaya.
Although the Malam Tautan Budaya was a great success, I still feel sad, especially when I encountered so many unexpected situations during the preparation for the show, like lecturers refusing to cooperate, conflicts within the committee, conflict from other people and also the usual people who like to grab credit for things they did not do, and those who love to complain about the amount of work they get, even though we are all burdened with the same responsibilities and commitments. Sometimes I just feel like saying, "Shut the fuck up already~!"
I considered resigning from MPP for the second time, but I can't quite bring myself to do it. Firstly, I owe Mr Tahir for trusting me enough to 'force' me on the position. Next, I have the responsibility towards my assistant, secretary and the committee members under me who are all so enthusiastic and ready to cooperate and support me in the events I handle. Also, I promised with Uncle Aqmal, the Sports exco to organise a Carnival Day before we finish our MPP term.
Besides, there are some people in the MPP team that I really enjoy being with - they are sporting, fun and easy to work with. Resigning might mean that I lose the chance to organise events and handle things together with them ^_^
Next is the Music Society. Goodness knows how long I've made an effort to get the society approved, and now we face the problem of the instruments. If the college expects us to perform during any functions, it should at least supply us with a place and instruments to practise. If we can't get at least this, next time the authorities ask for any instrumental or choir performances,
Go to the Babi Mangkok Haram Jadah music lecturer in the Administration Block and ask for his Music Students (who, according to him, are ready to perform any time they like)
If I'm the only one who wishes to use the music room and instruments, I'd have probably given up by now. Still, the music society represents the majority of IPG-KBA's students who are interested in music although they do not take music as a major or minor subject. The drummers, guitarists, keyboardists from various courses all wish that they can play the instruments during their leisure time - it's not like we have the mind to damage or steal the instruments, idiot.
We share the same passion for music, that is why I can't afford to give up and disappoint the people who are hoping for the chance to use the instruments someday. - This is love, too - and this is why I'm going to keep on pressing for at least the instruments, even if it means going to war with the moronic lecturer :x
If I don't love the people and things around me, I won't feel the pain of losing them. I won't even care about them so much as to fight for them, because I simply do not know how to love and cherish the things I should...
So, what choice should I make? Seal my heart close and avoid getting hurt, or to open my heart and learn to love, and risk getting hurt?
*****
Anyway, to a happier note: this is the melody to the waltz I composed for my cohort's Shakespearean play "The Merchant of Venice". I gave it the title 'Celebrazione di Matrimonio', which means Wedding Celebration, apt for the scene as it is played after Bassanio managed to win Portia's hand in marriage.
I've uploaded this in youtube and Facebook. So, just to do a little advertising to those who actually read my blog posts xD
