A Period of Mourning

On 15th June 2010, Tuesday, 12.45 a.m., my grandmother from my father's side passed away because of intestinal cancer.

According to Chinese/Buddhist/Taoist (probably a mixture of all three) tradition, when an old person passes away, we have to mourn for either 5 or 7 days. During the period of mourning, all the close relatives are expected to wear white shirts and black pants, and pin on small pieces of cloth and/or burlap on their right arm as well as tie a white ribbon around the right wrist to indicate that they are mourning for the passing of someone in their family.

Usually, a funeral is supposed to be a sad affair, but in this case, I didn't feel too much sorrow, as my grandmother was already 88 years old, and she passed away peacefully and with minimal pain.

As a matter of fact, this funeral gave the whole family a chance for reunion, as most members of the family came back from all over Malaysia, and some even from China to pay their final respects to my grandmother at my uncle's house in Kuala Muda.

Alright, let's proceed with a brief description of the ritual process...

The body of the deceased is placed in a coffin, with the cover revealing the face through a glass. A wreath of white flowers are placed at the feet area, while joss sticks are burnt for the whole period and the children of the deceased stay up all night to ensure the main long one is never burnt out (i.e. replaced when it gets too short).

Day 1 to Day 4: The main family members just stay in the house and sometimes chant prayers from morning to afternoon. At night, a few monks will come and lead the chanting of some more complicated prayers from different 'sutras' which we follow. On the 4th night, the family members will burn offerings to the deceased, including a huge house made of paper for him/her to use in the afterlife.

Day 5 is the day for the body to be buried or cremated (in my grandmother's case, cremated). The family members arrive early in the morning and there are also other friends and distant family who came for the final farewell. Then, the coffin is brought out of the house and into the van where it is sent to the cremation site. The whole process is quite complicated as a series of 'rules' have to be followed, and what I did was just to follow what everyone else did.

One good thing that came out of these 5 days was that I realised that I actually have a number of cute kids under me -- my cousins, nephews and nieces.

My cousin ... i call her Chloe but actually it's just her Chinese name that sounds like it xD My youngest uncle's daughter

A moth or butterfly that hung around the house until unfortunately, it got stepped on and died by my eldest aunt's husband o_O

flowers from various people

the 'house' which was burnt as an offering

my nephew, the son of my cousin, Zi Yao. He kinda looks like Edison Chan, no? xD

and his sister

Joelle Chin, the youngest present during the funeral (2 years old). My cousin's only daughter

Qian Hui, another one of my nieces. Has a smart mouth, sometimes good, sometimes bad xD

As I probably mentioned before, I'm not a devote Buddhist. In fact, I don't believe in religion (note: that doesn't mean that I totally reject the existence of a god, but that would come later). To me, I follow all the rituals and do what I'm told as a sign of respect for my grandmother and elders who are there, that's all. Still, attending this funeral let me witness the power of religion and how it brings everyone together. That is something to be respected, and also feared when abused.

Personally, I still think that it's more important to take care of the living rather than lavishing rituals, riches and whatnot on the dead.

I also got some 'souvenirs' from this incident - a whole load of mosquito bites on my feet and legs =.=" I can actually see constellations on my left foot.