Warning: Chinese Wedding Dinners Might Cause Deafness

NOPE, I'm kidding. The above is just a photo of a traditional Chinese wedding function. Just a note - until now I haven't been to any weddings in which couples dress that way :D


Going to any Chinese wedding dinners has always been an ordeal for me - never mind if the groom/bride is my closest relative or a stranger. The pattern is almost always the same: the amplifiers will blast the emcee's voice, music and stuff at full volume, while the guests do not dare to complain for fear of offending the newly-weds or their parents.

Last Saturday (22 May), I went to the wedding dinner of the daughter of a seafood restaurant's owner, who was a close friend of my father's family. I don't know the father or the daughter personally, but to 'bagi muka', I had to go too =.="

Anyway, when I reached there, I was appalled to see that the restaurant was crammed with people like sardine in cans, and a lot of guests actually had to sit OUTSIDE the restaurant. Then I started wondering:

1) What's the point of inviting so many friends and family over if the place you chose cannot accommodate all of them?
2) What's the point of sitting outside if you see what's happening on stage?

The food was just tolerable, some cooked to the point where I pity the animals who were slaughtered to produce the dish, which was just edible.

...

Back to the title of the post, that Chinese wedding dinners might cause deafness, the reasons are as follows. If you've gone to such a dinner before, whether it's at a hotel or restaurant, you might find that you've had similar experience.

1) The speakers and amplifiers are turned on at full volume.
2) The emcee, knowing that, cannot stop talking for fear that his salary might be cut.
3) He keeps on talking and talking and talking nonsense.
4) When he stops talking, the noise is replaced by music, still at full volume.
5) When he doesn't talk, he sings.
6) When he doesn't sing, he invites other guests to go up the stage and sing.
7) Most, if not all of the guests are not professional singers - they either sing out of tune or out of rhythm. This time, I was lucky that the singers did not screech or shout. I'm counting my blessings.
8) The amplifiers were only lowered during the 'yam seng' (cheers) session, where everyone lifts their glasses and toast the newly-weds at the top of their lungs. It's equally bad, by the way.

With all this, I'm thankful that both my ears are still functioning. Sometimes, I wonder why everything has to be so...loud. Probably, the point is to make it hard for guests to talk to each other so that they will focus their attention on the newly-weds instead of themselves.

All looking to the stage for the grand toast

My mom and I...yeah, we

a blurry shot taken with my phone of the bride and groom. The bride is the one in the purple dress...duh XD