If I Die Before I Wake

If I Die Before I Wake...The first time I came across this phrase was when I read a book of the same title by Francine Pascal. Sounds familiar? Yes, it's the author of the teenage book series Sweet Valley, which revolves mainly about the Wakefield twins Jessica and Elizabeth. Putting that aside, there are also songs and a movie with the same concept as this phrase. The second time I saw this phrase was in another book by Sidney Sheldon - "The Other Side of Midnight", where an ambitious French actress, who is the mistress to a Greek tycoon, and his hired pilot, who was the French actress' ex-lover, plotted to kill the pilot's wife so that they could be together. In the end, they were executed, for the Greek tycoon saw through their treachery and unfaithfulness, and employed a genius lawyer to ultimately lead them to their demise in court.

Now, for some background knowledge...

This phrase originated from a classic children's prayer from the 18th century (source: Wikipedia), and the whole thing sounds roughly like this:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
Should I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

Being a non-believer, I'm not really sure where my soul would go after I die. And, being the 'scientific, logical' person I am, I think all bodies just decompose and become nutrients to the ground when people die, or turn into ashes when cremated, and nothing will be left.

Probably, some of you would be already wondering why a self-proclaimed free-thinker would be blogging about a classic prayer...I assure you, this post has nothing to do with religion or faith.

Now, to get to the point. I used to have a voice in my head that told me: I would die at the age of 18 - actual date unknown, causes untold. According to that voice, I would die at 18 because I made some sort of bargain with the devil, and I have no idea what that would be. In short, I have six months left before I find out whether I'm a prophet or I'm actually schizophrenic instead.

So, I'm trying my best to live out these six months and see what happens. If I survive, great - I can continue weaving the tale of my life. If I don't, well...I would say that there were no big regrets in my life, and I love each and every one of you who had crossed paths with me at some point in my life~

=D