A Period of Mourning

On 15th June 2010, Tuesday, 12.45 a.m., my grandmother from my father's side passed away because of intestinal cancer.

According to Chinese/Buddhist/Taoist (probably a mixture of all three) tradition, when an old person passes away, we have to mourn for either 5 or 7 days. During the period of mourning, all the close relatives are expected to wear white shirts and black pants, and pin on small pieces of cloth and/or burlap on their right arm as well as tie a white ribbon around the right wrist to indicate that they are mourning for the passing of someone in their family.

Usually, a funeral is supposed to be a sad affair, but in this case, I didn't feel too much sorrow, as my grandmother was already 88 years old, and she passed away peacefully and with minimal pain.

As a matter of fact, this funeral gave the whole family a chance for reunion, as most members of the family came back from all over Malaysia, and some even from China to pay their final respects to my grandmother at my uncle's house in Kuala Muda.

Alright, let's proceed with a brief description of the ritual process...

The body of the deceased is placed in a coffin, with the cover revealing the face through a glass. A wreath of white flowers are placed at the feet area, while joss sticks are burnt for the whole period and the children of the deceased stay up all night to ensure the main long one is never burnt out (i.e. replaced when it gets too short).

Day 1 to Day 4: The main family members just stay in the house and sometimes chant prayers from morning to afternoon. At night, a few monks will come and lead the chanting of some more complicated prayers from different 'sutras' which we follow. On the 4th night, the family members will burn offerings to the deceased, including a huge house made of paper for him/her to use in the afterlife.

Day 5 is the day for the body to be buried or cremated (in my grandmother's case, cremated). The family members arrive early in the morning and there are also other friends and distant family who came for the final farewell. Then, the coffin is brought out of the house and into the van where it is sent to the cremation site. The whole process is quite complicated as a series of 'rules' have to be followed, and what I did was just to follow what everyone else did.

One good thing that came out of these 5 days was that I realised that I actually have a number of cute kids under me -- my cousins, nephews and nieces.

My cousin ... i call her Chloe but actually it's just her Chinese name that sounds like it xD My youngest uncle's daughter

A moth or butterfly that hung around the house until unfortunately, it got stepped on and died by my eldest aunt's husband o_O

flowers from various people

the 'house' which was burnt as an offering

my nephew, the son of my cousin, Zi Yao. He kinda looks like Edison Chan, no? xD

and his sister

Joelle Chin, the youngest present during the funeral (2 years old). My cousin's only daughter

Qian Hui, another one of my nieces. Has a smart mouth, sometimes good, sometimes bad xD

As I probably mentioned before, I'm not a devote Buddhist. In fact, I don't believe in religion (note: that doesn't mean that I totally reject the existence of a god, but that would come later). To me, I follow all the rituals and do what I'm told as a sign of respect for my grandmother and elders who are there, that's all. Still, attending this funeral let me witness the power of religion and how it brings everyone together. That is something to be respected, and also feared when abused.

Personally, I still think that it's more important to take care of the living rather than lavishing rituals, riches and whatnot on the dead.

I also got some 'souvenirs' from this incident - a whole load of mosquito bites on my feet and legs =.=" I can actually see constellations on my left foot.

Warning: Chinese Wedding Dinners Might Cause Deafness

NOPE, I'm kidding. The above is just a photo of a traditional Chinese wedding function. Just a note - until now I haven't been to any weddings in which couples dress that way :D


Going to any Chinese wedding dinners has always been an ordeal for me - never mind if the groom/bride is my closest relative or a stranger. The pattern is almost always the same: the amplifiers will blast the emcee's voice, music and stuff at full volume, while the guests do not dare to complain for fear of offending the newly-weds or their parents.

Last Saturday (22 May), I went to the wedding dinner of the daughter of a seafood restaurant's owner, who was a close friend of my father's family. I don't know the father or the daughter personally, but to 'bagi muka', I had to go too =.="

Anyway, when I reached there, I was appalled to see that the restaurant was crammed with people like sardine in cans, and a lot of guests actually had to sit OUTSIDE the restaurant. Then I started wondering:

1) What's the point of inviting so many friends and family over if the place you chose cannot accommodate all of them?
2) What's the point of sitting outside if you see what's happening on stage?

The food was just tolerable, some cooked to the point where I pity the animals who were slaughtered to produce the dish, which was just edible.

...

Back to the title of the post, that Chinese wedding dinners might cause deafness, the reasons are as follows. If you've gone to such a dinner before, whether it's at a hotel or restaurant, you might find that you've had similar experience.

1) The speakers and amplifiers are turned on at full volume.
2) The emcee, knowing that, cannot stop talking for fear that his salary might be cut.
3) He keeps on talking and talking and talking nonsense.
4) When he stops talking, the noise is replaced by music, still at full volume.
5) When he doesn't talk, he sings.
6) When he doesn't sing, he invites other guests to go up the stage and sing.
7) Most, if not all of the guests are not professional singers - they either sing out of tune or out of rhythm. This time, I was lucky that the singers did not screech or shout. I'm counting my blessings.
8) The amplifiers were only lowered during the 'yam seng' (cheers) session, where everyone lifts their glasses and toast the newly-weds at the top of their lungs. It's equally bad, by the way.

With all this, I'm thankful that both my ears are still functioning. Sometimes, I wonder why everything has to be so...loud. Probably, the point is to make it hard for guests to talk to each other so that they will focus their attention on the newly-weds instead of themselves.

All looking to the stage for the grand toast

My mom and I...yeah, we

a blurry shot taken with my phone of the bride and groom. The bride is the one in the purple dress...duh XD

~Happy Teacher's Day~

THE CREATION OF THE TEACHER

The Good Lord was creating teachers. It was His sixth day of 'overtime' and He knew that this was a tremendous responsibility for teachers would touch the lives of so many impressionable young children. An angel appeared to Him and said, "You are taking a long time to figure this one out."

"Yes," said the Lord, " but have you read the specs on this order?"

TEACHER:

…must stand above all students, yet be on their level
... must be able to do 180 things not connected with the subject being taught
... must run on coffee, coke and leftovers,
... must communicate vital knowledge to all students daily and be right most of the time
... must have more time for others than for herself/himself
... must have a smile that can endure through pay cuts, problematic children, and worried parents
... must go on teaching when parents question every move and others are not supportive
... must have 6 pair of hands.

"Six pair of hands, " said the angel, "that's impossible"
"Well, " said the Lord, " it is not the hands that are the problem. It is the three pairs of eyes that are presenting the most difficulty!"

The angel looked incredulous, " Three pairs of eyes...on a standard model?"

The Lord nodded His head, " One pair can see a student for what he is and not what others have labeled him as. Another pair of eyes is in the back of the teacher's head to see what should not be seen, but what must be known. The eyes in the front are only to look at the child as he/she 'acts out' in order to reflect, " I understand and I still believe in you",
without so much as saying a word to the child."

"Lord, " said the angel, " this is a very large project and I think
you should work on it tomorrow".

"I can't," said the Lord, " for I have come very close to creating something much like Myself. I have one that comes to work when he/she is sick.....teaches a class of children that do not want to learn....has a special place in his/her heart for children who are not his/her own.....understands the struggles of those who have difficulty....never takes the students for granted..."

The angel looked closely at the model the Lord was creating.
"It is too soft-hearted, " said the angel.

"Yes," said the Lord, " but also tough, You can not imagine what this teacher can endure or do, if necessary".

"Can this teacher think?" asked the angel.

"Not only think," said the Lord,. "but reason and compromise."

The angel came closer to have a better look at the model and ran his finger
over the teacher's cheek.

"Well, Lord, " said the angel, your job looks fine but there is a leak. I told you that you were putting too much into this model.
You can not imagine the stress that will be placed upon the teacher."

The Lord moved in closer and lifted the drop of moisture from the teacher's cheek.
It shone and glistened in the light.

"It is not a leak," He said, "It is a tear."

"A tear? What is that?" asked the angel, "What is a tear for?"

The Lord replied with great thought, " It is for the joy and pride of seeing a child accomplish even the smallest task. It is for the loneliness of children who have a hard time to fit in and it is for compassion for the feelings of their parents. It comes from the pain of not being able to reach some children and the disappointment those children feel in themselves. It comes often when a teacher has been with a class for a year and must say good-bye to those students
and get ready to welcome a new class."

"My, " said the angel, " The tear thing is a great idea...You are a genius!!"
The Lord looked somber, "I didn't put it there."

*copied from http://www.songs4teachers.com/inspiration.htm*

~A very Happy Teacher's Day to educators all over the world~

Milkshake's Videos Up~ *Finally*

Although it's not our best performance yet; in fact, it's our FIRST performance, I don't see any wrong in uploading the videos to Youtube. Comment, praise and criticise all you like :D That will help us improve =D

Milkshake - Intro of Canon in D Rock *simplified* and Seize the Day by Avenged Sevenfold



Milkshake - Silly Lily by Bunkface

Milkshake FTW!

Yee ha! In my last post, I mentioned that my band, Milkshake will take part in the Rhythm of the Champions in my college, ne? So, here I am with updates of the results and details of the competition~ (It's kinda late, I know)

Anyway, the competition was held on the 29th of April 2010 at IPG KBA's auditorium, from 2.30pm to 5.00pm. Apart from joining the competition, I was also the organiser of the competition -- multitasking is my middle name.

Well, to cut the story short, Milkshake came in 3rd place in the competition. Some might laugh at the results, as there were only 5 bands in total competing, but still, it was a pleasant surprise to all 5 of us.

The 2 songs we played were 'Seize the Day' by Avenged Sevenfold and 'Silly Lily' by Bunkface. As for the intro, we extracted a small part from Canon in D Rock. As we were all beginners at the instruments we were playing except for Alif, who has been playing the guitar for quite some time, everyone said that we were taking a huge risk by playing all difficult songs. Especially me, the lead guitar, who has to play the solo for all 3 songs. And let me tell you this, it's not easy...

Anyway, all of us were quite nervous as we were the last band to perform on stage on that day. I myself was so unfocused that I forgot to adjust my guitar strap properly, resulting in me having problems playing the high notes on the guitar (LOL). For all 3 songs, our tempo was faster than how we usually played during practice, and that made it harder for me to play my solo xD Also, during 'Seize the Day', our vocalist Alif wasn't in his best condition, and he hit the high notes EVEN higher =.="

Silly Lily was a good performance though. Although we went a little too fast too, but we were very active on stage, moving and jumping, and the vocalist for this song, Akmal, did a great job too. Besides, the audience loved the song and was well entertained~

Anyway, for our performance, I would say...
'Better aim high and miss, than aim low and hit'

Our song choices might be difficult, but we pulled it off pretty well.

This is US. Not Susu Kocak, but MILKSHAKE (our tagline xD)

From top left:
Abang Long Safwan (Bassist)
Yukina-Rei (Lead)
Akmal Hazimin (Rhythm/Vocal)

Bottom left:
Alif Aguero Alias (Vocal/Rhythm)
Syed Adiey (Drummer)

P/S: I will upload the video soon, once I get my hands on it :P

Heaven and Hell Against You?

For simplicity and to reduce annoyance, all references to people will be 'he' instead of 'he/she' or 'one' or so on. No gender specification - 'he' refers to humans in general =)

Self Pity - probably one of the most destructive emotions one could ever have.

According to the Collins Cobuild Dictionary 2006, self-pity is defined as a feeling of unhappiness that you have about yourself and your problems, especially when this is unnecessary or greatly exaggerated.

People come across problems all of the time. From kings to vagabonds, geniuses to dumb people, everyone encounters some obstacles at some point in their life. That is not a cause to whine and complain and expect sympathy from everyone else. This might sound selfish, but YOU are supposed to at least try to solve your problems before asking for help. That is why it's called YOUR problem, not MY problem or HIS problem or HER problem or THEIR problem.

Sure, acting like a damsel (or a male equivalent of that) in distress might seem cute initially. Still, after a while, most people get irritated and annoyed when you put on a sad, emo face and seek for comfort from them all the time. Do remember that some people will have their own problems, and they might not have the same tolerance other kind souls might show to you.

I'm sure everyone has their favourite activities and pastimes (hobbies, okay). So, compared to brooding and stewing and whining which get you nowhere, why not go indulge in something more beneficial for everyone?

Also, humans are individuals. Obviously, the choice of giving you sympathy and taking care of you is up to them - it is NEVER an obligation.

In brief- Do I look like I care, when I'm already burdened with so much of my own?

***

On a side note, my newly formed band Milkshake is going to enter a band competition at my college. I'm the *coughs* lead guitarist (who has been playing the guitar for only 3 months) o_O

Wow?

Buying A Violin...

Buying a violin is like getting married.

First, you have to pick out your possible partner, i.e. the violin. You scout for it at certain shops. Then, you wait for one that shouts 'love at first sight'.

Once you've got an eye for the violin you want, you start to consider the possibilities for you to be together. The most pressing matter to consider is whether you can afford the violin and its maintenance, parallel to whether you can afford to lavish your money on your newly found 'girlfriend' or 'boyfriend'.

In the process, you try out your compatibility with your violin - how can it adapt to you, how good you feel being with it, how you 'click' together and how you pair together to produce beautiful music.

After everything's done and you have decided on your violin (the financial factor plays a great part too), you can propose to your violin, get married and bring it back home.

However, that is not the end of the story.

After marriage, you have more maintenance to do. Buying accessories for it (like the bow, casing, rosin, shoulder-rest and stuff), change some of its' 'clothes' (bridge, strings, knobs, chin-rest...) and taking good care of it (wiping it after use, polishing it and more). If you don't do all that, your violin will get angry with you after a while, and it won't serve you any more.

Also, if you decide to 'play three sticks' with it and place your attention on another violin instead, chances are, if you ignore your violin for too long, it will get spoilt after a while too.

The only thing that makes violins better than a husband/wife is that if you change your mind and want to divorce your violin for another, you can easily do so without much complications. Beware of your finances though - a new violin will suck your money faster~

*all these came to mind when I found out that, in order to replace my violin strings with the same brand, I need to fish out RM198. It's like buying a new guitar =.="*

New Gadget in my Blog, New Things in My Life

Well, if you look to the right, you can see advertisements by Nuffnang on the gadgets bar. I didn't really place it there to earn money, just for decoration, but if you feel like clicking on it and help me earn some extra pocket money...well, I wouldn't say no ^^

Some brief updates in my life:

1) My sister's boyfriend - Eddie's eldest brother just passed away recently. Although I haven't met him before, I still felt sad for him and his family, especially for Eddie, who suddenly has to take on the responsibility of being the eldest son in the family. (This is particularly important in Chinese traditional families). May his brother's soul rest in peace, and may his family be strong enough to accept his fate.

2) I started to become addicted to Neopets once again. This, too, will come in another post - - note the word 'brief'.

This is my pet Wocky, with the funny name 'Foxy 211999'. Oh well, I adopted it when I was 13 years old ^_^"

3) I met my cousin Teng Hock last Wednesday afternoon. He treated me to Vietnamese food all the way in One Utama. I had the chance to sit in his white Honda Civic R-class, which he named 'Super White Rabbit' (LOL, you will know what I mean if you translate it to Chinese). To think of it, this was the first time I've met him in many months - I didn't even see him during Chinese New Year. However, it was quite a pleasant outing with him - it got me thinking, having relatives isn't so bad as I thought.

4) This is an effect from number 3 - I think it's time to get more acquainted with my relatives, especially those in my generation. At least, when we are grown up, we won't become estranged like what we see in family dramas.

***

By the way, a Polish plane to Russia crashed, bringing down the lives of Poland's President Lech Kaczynski, his wife and other senior political figures. Whether it's a pure accident or it's a conspiracy (from what I've read from BBC, Kaczynski is rather well-known for his right-wing governance) is yet to be known. Add to that the fact that the plane crashed in Russia, where they were going to visit a World War II memorial place. I was just wondering though, talking about placing all your eggs in a single basket, why would they travel together on the same plane in the first place? It's kinda...dangerous. However, Poland has to be strong (yet again - it's always these few words when dealing with deaths) and refrain from creating chaos even though they lost *I don't know how many percent* of their government in that plane crash.

Oh well, these days, nobody is too young to deal with death. So, everyone might as well accept the fact that people are going to die, anytime, anywhere, anyhow. The deal is to live your lives as happily as possible ^^

There's No Way to Fully Please a Woman...

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

I wonder how many of us womenfolk would walk up to the fifth floor? I know I would, just to satisfy my curiosity of whether it's the extreme handsome or extreme ugly waiting there :D

And yeah, there's no way to completely please a woman...that's what makes us women~

From http://www.helium.com/items/693485-jokes-blonde-jokes?page=4

Shocked. Seriously.

It's not my style to post the everyday stuff I see or hear in my life, but this was really shocking. Probably to some of you, it's something normal (I'm not going into a long post about culture, communication and more) but in Malaysia, especially in a teacher's training college, I did not expect such language to be used in public, and what's even worse - it's not just spoken, but shouted at someone else.

The first thing to remember is that being a senior does not automatically grant you the right to do anything you like. In fact, the more senior you are, the more matured you should be, and I assume that being so old, one would know that it is extremely rude and inappropriate to call another person a bitch, especially when she has done nothing wrong.

The story goes like this: (M is the nickname of the senior)
At the block 4 common room, three groups of people were having their discussions. Two came from the PPISMP TESL group who were probably talking about their choral speaking and activities during their English Camp, which will be held next week. For my group, I was involved in the story telling during English week, which will be held the week after. Of course, having so many people in a small, closed space, we could hardly hear ourselves talking. Still, it's possible to move closer to each other in order to hear them speak.

Suddenly, in the midst of chastising us for being late (yeah, it's our fault for being late, but that's not the main point), M suddenly yelled 'Can all of you SHUT UP and do your discussion quietly?' Someone from the choral speaking group spoke up, albeit less loudly, 'You shut up too.'

Then M lost control and started shouting, 'You SHUT UP, BITCH!' That was the most shocking part of the whole incident. I mean, if you want to argue, fine, but if you start to degrade other people by calling names, you are just showing how low you are. I guess the rest of the juniors were just as equally surprised, as they kept quiet and whispered among them after that.

M then continued, 'I'm very angry now...so you all better keep quiet, blah blah' (the rest of my memory is blurred). And then I start to wonder.

1. The common room is a place for everyone to use, and unless you have officially booked it, everyone should be allowed to make noise or do whatever in it.

2. If you really require somewhere more conducive for a meeting, the logical thing to do would be for the smallest group to move somewhere else (we were the smallest group there) since it would be easier for us to find a place.

3. The junior was not wrong to ask you to shut up, since you started the rudeness, and she just gave an eye for an eye.

4. (As posted in my FB) 'bitch' not only means a woman who behaves in a very unpleasant way, but it also means 'female dog'. In this case, I think M fulfilled the criteria better, judging by the way she acted.

5. What's the point of the sentence 'I'm very angry...' Should other people even care that you are angry when you behave this way? And I place this statement under childishness, if one thinks that other people should comply with them just because they are angry. Besides, being angry does not give you the right to let someone else be the brunt of your anger.

6. It wouldn't have sounded so harsh if you spoke to her in a common tone. Did you really have to shout something so rude? I wouldn't have qualms using these words in a joking tone too.

Probably the words 'shut up' and 'bitch' are very commonly used overseas, and this M picked up the habit of using them. However, to cite a Malay idiom 'masuk kandang lembu menglembu, masuk kandang kambing mengembek' (it means one should learn to adapt to the culture wherever they go). If you want to behave so outspokenly and straightforward in a culture that accepts it, fine. But once you come back to Malaysia, it would do you well to remember 'budi bahasa budaya kita', that we want to encourage and nurture good manners and etiquette among the people we are teaching. No use being a hypocrite, acting all cute and good in front of the children; and throwing it all to the wind behind them.

And here, we are not talking about a positive culture such as a foreign accent, cleanliness, free thinking and stuff, we are talking about something offensive, which would be considered rude in a Malaysian context. Even on internet forums where nobody actually sees or hears you, I've been trained not to 'talk' that way. If that is what one brings back from overseas, then what is the point of going overseas?

I've ranted too much in this post. I just hope that this post will be a reminder for me to stay true to my roots and remember how to absorb good values and stay away from bad ones, since I will be going overseas in a few months time.

Till then, adios!

P.S: This post is not meant to be offensive to any party. I'm just recounting the events that happened and stating my point of view on them.

^_^